The Watcher Diaries of Rupert Giles

Today started out like every other day in this god forsaken town these last few weeks. However things did get interesting when on a routine sweep of the town stumbled upon Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. Someone I thought I’d never see again. He seems to really have grown into himself since his separation with the council.

He took me to a house on the outskirts of town, where they house all the survivors they’ve found. Which, unfortunately, isn’t very many people. They suspect there are more survivors around town, that have yet to be found. Among us are: Buffy, Xander, Willow, Angel, Faith, Spike, Liam, and Tara. All of whom I knew before; except Liam who I was introduced to this afternoon.

I’ve been thinking a lot about why I left lately. At the time I thought I was doing the right thing. Though now I’m not too sure. I never thought I was going to be like all the other men in her life and leave her, but that’s exactly what I did. I hate myself for that, but I know I can’t change what I’ve done in the past. I can only try and make up for it now.

I saw Buffy today, for the first time since I left Sunnydale. I wish I could say she welcomed me back with open arms, no questions asked, but that was not the case. Not that I blame her, I’m afraid she’ll never forgive me for leaving her. Though the way I see it, she left me first. Maybe not in the physical sense, but she did pull away from me, and that’s what caused me to leave. I don’t blame her though, she did what she thought was best, however misguided I find it. She knows how I feel now, and she’s told me that the feeling is mutual. We have decided to give a romantic relationship a second chance, though with our current situation on the Hellmouth I’m not sure how much actual romance will be involved.

After our conversation Buffy and I went on a retrieval mission back to my flat to gather my things. We ran into a few groups of zombies on our way there, but they were easily taken care of. We didn’t run into any trouble on our way back. It was nice to have the time with Buffy. We still work well together, words unneeded as we worked side by side. It was nice to be able to have that again.

We returned to camp a little past three this afternoon, and we got my belongings settled in Buffy’s room, since there were no extra rooms available. If our relationship continues in the direction it’s heading then maybe I’ll be moving into her room at some point soon anyway.

I also met Liam today. The son of the vampire, Spike, and the Slayer, Faith. He’s a charming young boy, with a sweet tooth that rivals my own. When Spike first told me Faith was pregnant, I thought maybe it had been a dream… Or I suppose A nightmare at the time. The only I can think of that could make it possible, to have the power to make a vampire fertile, is nothing short of divine intervention. Or if there is, I’ve never heard of such a thing.

He really is a curious young boy. He asked me to help with a project he wanted to do, to get electricity set up at the house. I was about floored with the ambition he showed for this project, and promised my help. I’ll have to see if there are books remaining in the library, I’m afraid that I don’t have much information on the subject. But I’m looking forward to researching it further. It’ll be nice to read a text that doesn’t have to do with zombie lore or medical journals on the spread of pathogens.

Rupert E. Giles, Watcher

The hellmouth has been relatively quiet of late. And frankly that worries me more than a noisy one. It means something’s hiding, waiting for its moment. And right now I have no idea what that something is. Many vampires have left the city proper and moved into the forest, venturing back only to eat. Patrols have been rather fruitless because of it.

I’ve met two new people this week. One, a psychic named Zoe who told me about the existence of angels and a breed of vampires that are not demonic. The second was a blonde wicca who says she knows Willow. She didn’t tell me she practiced magic but I could feel the steady hum of power radiating from her. Buffy also mentioned a group of rogue demon hunters who aptly call themselves ‘hunters’. Needless to say I have quite a few late nights with my books ahead of me.

I’ve accompanied Buffy a few times this week on patrol, and I must say, despite our lack of training, her technique has not been lost. I may, however, approach her at some point and ask her to resume our training schedule. I’m not sure if this idea stems from thinking she needs it or that I need it. All I know is that the thought of training, which used to be looked at as an obligation that led to aching muscles and bruising all of which I simply endured so I could help Buffy, I look at it as a welcome break from the lonely days moping about my flat now. I know I’m being self pitying, but it’s been difficult adjusting to my suddenly sedentary lifestyle. Sure, I wasn’t out much either when the library was still around, but at least there were people. Mostly Buffy, Willow, and Xander, but every once in a while I’d get the odd student in there researching for a term paper. Now that the library is gone I get very few visitors. I know the others are busy in their post high school transition, and I don’t begrudge them that. 

It seems though that my most frequent visitor has been Spike. Newly chipped, he’s no longer a threat to humanity. Though, I don’t doubt, given the chance he’d kill again without a second thought. As much as she hates Spike, killing a helpless creature is not something Buffy wanted to do. So he’s something that, for now, I’ll just have to deal with.

Due to an ambiguous statement and a fair amount of alcohol, Spike now knows of my feelings for Buffy. I fear that if I don’t do as he asks then he’ll reveal the nature of my feelings to Buffy. I know these feelings are unrequited and it would bring unnecessary tension to the group dynamic if Buffy were to find out.

Rupert E. Giles, Watcher